Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Sextiplegics

I remember reading in my Weekly Reader that people asked school children in the 1950's what they thought the 1980's would be like. They responded with all sorts of stuff, such as living in **space and instant food. Some of the things they guessed had come true (i.e., microwave oven -- fast cooking food), and some had obviously not (i.e., entire colonies of people living on the moon). As a kid of the 1980's I laughed at most of their guesses. We proceeded to make several guesses about the year 2000, not ever having foreseen things like the Internet, cell phones, and Y2K.

What I do remember was being quite excited about possibly buying a TV and groceries at the same superstore. During the early 1980's there was no Target or Wal-Mart. In the early 1980's, there were separate stores for each type of item, and we just went from place-to-place to get them. If you think errands take forever now, just imagine what our moms did when we were little. Besides,
I don't think I had really thought through the notion that in order to buy a TV and groceries on every trip to the store, I would have to earn a huge salary and find space for all those TVs.

Jakey and I were having such a discussion tonight while talking about the probability of all the Yeagley kids retiring in the same place. You know, so we can push each other's teeth back in and locate all of our lost pills and pants (at least one of us will have to remember not to pee in the flower pots). But Jakey surmised that he probably would get cloned teeth made from his finger nails by then anyhow.

Then Jakey suggested that most of the cancers, AIDS, and junk would probably be solved by then. I thought that really we would have just moved on to super viruses and far more interesting diseases. And won't we be growing extra appendages out our backs anyhow. Jakey really liked the idea of having extra appendages, to which I asked, "But what if you sustain serious nerve damage, will that make you a sextiplegic?" He guessed that I was probably right (and I think he may be entertaining ideas of the fun of being a sextiplegic).

Thinking about it now though, will anyone really ever be a sextiplegic? Won't stem cell research will be elementary
by 2056. Probably no one will be any kind of "plegic" no matter how many appendages they sprout from super viruses. What's your take, what do you think 2056 will be like?

**Just so we're all clear, I have no interest in space travel or living somewhere else in the galaxy. I heart Earth, as previously stated in the preceding post. Besides, I'm very fearful of small spaces and of not being able to breath oxygen. Space ships would trap me in very tiny spaces and having an accident anywhere in space would eventually result in me not breathing (
a trip to the moon would require A LOT of Xanex for me). I especially don't want to asphyxiate in a small space. No thank you! I realize that this can happen on Earth too, but I like to think my chances are a little better. Note that I have not picked a career in undersea diving or submarining.

8 comments:

K&B Brown said...

Thank you for entertaining me while both of my boys cry. Austin is refusing to go to sleep and woke Adam up, who now thinks that he is going to watch tv. Don't they know I am the insomniac, not them!
I will have to think about what I think the future will be like when there are not crying boys distracting me. Off to put Austin back in his bed for probably the 20th time since 8:40.

Karen B said...

What about paralyzed siamese twins? Are they sextapalegics?

CarrierFamily said...

Karin, perhaps in the future you will be able to take your grandchildren's voice boxes out at night and flip a switch for them to fall straight to sleep.

Phil, I really think your question is really asking about personhood. Are they sextiplegic, or two triplegics?

Karen B said...

If they share a brain are they really two people?

Ann said...

Did anybody predict cell phones, email, GPS? Those things are pretty cool. I predict TV will fall to the handheld computer/phone/camera/etc. I'm not so sure about extra appendages. Where is the evolutionary value there?

Emily said...

I'm glad triplegics came up already. If we all recall, my sister Karin thought she was one one evening.

I like this post, and I like you, Ali.

Chunky Monkey said...

How have we been friends for so long and I didn't even know that you are chlosterphobic, too? I, for one, am very happy looking at pictures and videos and telescopes of outer space. I think that I would like a drive thru grocery store, where I can stop and pick up a gallon of milk or whatever order I put in on-line with out getting Con out of the car. But I don't want it in 30 years. I'd like it now, please.

Chunky Monkey said...

I also think that sunglasses will have computer screens, like in some movies I have seen, but I don't remember which ones. However, I do NOT want Tyler to get them, because he would be plugged in 100% all the time.