Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Is Chipotle Worship A Sin?

Photo: Phil's formal complaint to Chipotle about not having one on a trip back from VA for a family function... she tried to get us to stop on the way up, but Jakey and I wouldn't wait the hour for them to open and she's still mad about it

Our buddy Shawn (I say that like he isn't practically family) has given me cause to expound on the wonders of Chipotle. He recently had a run-in with a D.C. homeless person that caused him to write this article for this news magazine: Special Orders.

The article leaves him wondering about the demands the man made about Chipotle. I understand. Chipotle addicts everywhere understand. This food is so divine that fans make pilgrimages across country and photo document the whole trip and send it to Chipotle to tell the company where to build new locations. Chipotle listens.

So great is Chipotle, that when Phil moved here and the closest one was two hours away, she emailed them daily requesting that they build one here for an entire year. They listened. Now there are three.

So great is Chipotle, that the gang and I stood in line for 45 minutes to get free food at the grand opening and my sister got a $150 tow on her car while we waited. I think it was nearly worth it. We spoke to the regional marketing people of the southeast that day. We're getting another one close to our homes soon. I am still salivating.

So great is Chipotle, that we made our friends a Chipotle onesie because we decided their baby was a Chipotle baby. He's worn it with the free t-shirt his daddy has.

So great is Chipotle that my husband, proclaimed cheapest man alive, never complains when I call him to ask about, or show up with, a burrito and chips. He only gets mad if I eat it without getting him some.

So great is Chipotle that I carried on about it for at least ten minutes of my class time when I returned to teach Sunday school last week. One student in my class knew what I was talking about. He just moved here and we bonded over our shared love of Chipotle.

So great is Chipotle, that Phil wants to make a customer tree of all of her Chipotle converts and send it to them. She got her entire office addicted and eventually had to cut them off from their dependence on Chipotle Mondays. The owner of her company still asks for it when he's in town, I am not sure he knows she's there otherwise. I think she should get a raise based on her Chipotle contributions.

So great is Chiotle that her office was going so often, they were winning free burritos regularly. One Chipotle employee yelled at Phil about it. Phil yelled back. That lady isn't there anymore. We knew she wouldn't be simply because she wasn't behaving the Chipotle way. They love their customer's dedication, which is Mac-like in it's following (if you haven't seen Mac fans and their dedication to their computers, you are missing out on the near cult-like following). It's Chipotle worship, is that a sin?

In short, I support this homeless man's anger about Subway substitutions over Chipotle. I would have behaved the same way Shawn. It's Chipotle!

12 comments:

Jake said...

Exodus 20:

I am the Lord your God, Chipotle, who brought you into the land of Mexico, out of the house of slavery;

you shall have no other restaurants before Me.

You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is near the mall beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, Chipotle, the Lord your God, am a jealous restaurant, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me,

but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who patronize My restaurants and keep My commandments.

Anonymous said...

Chipotle may be the main focus of this blog, but it is the opinion of this reader that MAC's suck and Windows is better. Down with Macintosh!

Ali-kat said...

No way Anonymous. I've been a Mac lover for decades, but only a Chipotle lover for a couple of years.

and...

Dear Jakey, I do enjoy your take on Exodus. Sincerely, Horselips

K&B Brown said...

I enjoy Chipotle but with the 2 boys I ALWAYS have in tow, it makes standing in the 30-45 minute line impossible. Iwish they did drive-thru, then I would have it weekly.

Karen B said...

Thank you for your dedication to Chipotle. I will gladly add you to the customer tree. I remember your first time in Richmond like it was yesterday. Richmond, VA, the only surly Chipotle staff ever to survive.

Karen B said...

Jake, your wisdom never ceases to astound me.

Emily said...

I, too, love the Chipotle, but shame on that homeless man for throwing away a Subway sandwich. He may have been angry at being treated so unfairly (like a certain parent-in-law of mine, I'm not naming names), but that was childish and ungrateful. He could've just said no thank you and handed it back to Shawn.
The End.

Shawn Macomber said...

Wow. There's a lot of re-fried magic going on here. The basic question of why Chipotle is superior to Baja Fresh has not been answered, however. And Emily, thanks for trying to get me my sandwich back, but I'm nobody's n---er.

Ali-kat said...

Simple. They make everything from scratch, including the chips, they buy everything from local farms, and they use the magic of fresh lime and Adobo seasoning. Their recipes are very, very good. Although, I have never eaten at Baja Fresh (for reasons beyond my control), but Phil says they don't hold a candle to Chipotle.

Also, I am in love with their guacamole and I don't like most guacamole.

Amy said...

Never heard of such a place!

Chunky Monkey said...

I do enjoy a Chipotle. I also enjoy how everyone carefully pronounces the t. Especially Tyler. I think it is much better than BajaFresh. But I do not think it is better than Rubio's. There is something about their burrito especial....and the fact that there is a fish tank in each one which completely entertains any kids that are with me and that lets me eat and actually enjoy hot food. I do like Chipotle's chips much, much more than others.

Karen B said...

Baja Fresh doesn't have nearly as good of a seasoning combo as the Adobo seasoning at Chipotle. That is all. That is the reason. I just doesn't taste as good.