Tuesday, May 29, 2007

A Wide Belt Doesn't Always Slim

According to the "What Not To Wear" people, a wide belt is supposed to make a flabby belly look less so. After hemming maternity pants for my sister, Phil, which has the widest elastic belt there is, I would say not. Further supporting my case, cousin Liz took all of the excess pant hems and put them around my cat, Bean's, mid-section. He did not look slimmer, but he did enjoy wearing them. A wide belt is not always the best solution for creating a slimmer waistline. Use good judgment when selecting a wide-belted pant for yourself.

On another note, my mother should be very pleased that I was able to get Phil to buy at least three maternity bottoms. That girl hates, hates, hates to shop, and has been known to wear some very unflattering things to avoid doing it. After the ill-fitted dress incident at my other sister, Emily's, wedding (which was not at all the right color for Phil either), my mother permanently assigned me to be Phil's personal shopper and stylist. Mind you, she had already earned a bachelors degree and was not living at home. My BIL, Dave, also gave me that same duty when they moved here because he could not get that girl to go clothes shopping for anything. He was never so happy than the day we bought her an entire new work wardrobe in about five hours. That wardrobe served her very well up until a few weeks ago.

Even though I am the boss of her hair and her clothes, she still fights me on shopping for many months at a time. It wasn't until one of her co-workers told her she was "blossoming" this week, that she decided her non-maternity pants finally needed to be shelved for a while. Sorry Phil. On the bright side, you'll be so comfortable this week that you could eat an entire Thanksgiving feast at your desk and never adjust your pants. That seems worth the hour you spent shopping tonight.

Even funnier was me trying to explain Phil's new "baby bump" to my dad. Apparently he'd never heard the term, so I launched into a lengthy explanation about the latest trends of maternity wear. About how the stars were celebrating their baby bumps on the red carpet. And how Liz Lange turned the entire maternity clothing industry on it's ear with a line of maternity wear that wasn't ugly. For heaven's sake, the man has five daughters and three of them are pregnant right now! He really ought to be up on these things.

He agreed that the options when our mothers were pregnant were just not flattering or appealing to women. Really to men for that matter. After all, none of us want to wear shirts that make us look like the Liberty bell with loud floral patterns and Peter Pan collars. Anything that can be described as a "frock" instead of as an "outfit", is not anything I want to wear. Thank goodness for us all that Liz Lange came along. When my day comes, I am not wearing anything that could be mistaken for a pup tent. None of you should have to either.

4 comments:

Ann said...

3 sisters are pregnant?? How exciting! All these cousins are going to have so much fun together in a few years.

I have to agree with you about maternity fashion. Even some of the stuff I had with Drew and Dean is so out now, quite tent-like. It's all much cuter now.

K&B Brown said...

The cousins will have a great time. I wish they even specialized maternity fashions for shorties (like the Yeagley Ladies) or giants (like the Stewarts, minus Emmie). But it is the in-betweenies like Em that make out in the maternity fashions.

Ali-kat said...

Even sadder is that poor Phil is between pant sizes also. Either way too big or a pinch too small. To avoid all this trying on of pants, she has been buttoning her regular pants below her baby bump like an old man with a beer belly. She's been pulling those suckers up all day long for weeks. I am guessing that plumbers crack is not appropriate for accountants at architecture firms. Eh, what do I know?

Emily said...

Congratulations on the successful shopping! And it's true, maternity clothes and wedding dresses were just *made* for my body type. Too bad regular clothes are still a struggle. Maybe I should only wear wedding gowns between pregnancies.