Household Evaluations

Phil had her employee evaluations at work this week and decided that her household also needed to have evaluations. Click here to see the review: Phil's Blog.

Scott's employee evaluations will be in another month-ish, so it's a great time to do our own household evaluations.

Scott on Ali:
Scott does not have time for all this nonsense, he has to plant a bush and clean up the office because Ali makes it into a huge mess. Scott has to do all of this before he talks to Bob on Sunday, so he would like to be left alone. Ali should stop leaving the quilt unfolded on the couch, he hates finding it that way in the morning. Scott would prefer it if Ali didn't fall asleep at night before him considering he starts getting ready for bed an hour before her. Scott would like everyone to stay on schedule and remain cautious and thorough. There is a right way and a wrong way. Scott also liked Ali better when she had butt-brain because she lost the fury and was "sweet". He wants the "sweet" back even if it means Ali is stupid.

Scott on Bean:
Scott is still looking for a large ziplock bag and some duct tape to take care of Bean. Scott does not like it when Bean wakes him up at 5:00AM for breakfast with his incessant whining, thereby forcing Scott to chase Bean down the stairs, through the kitchen, and into the laundry room to teach Bean a lesson about waking people up 30 minutes before their alarm goes off. Scott DOES appreciate Bean's solidarity in their shared hate of Prince, the neighborhood tomcat, who taunts both Bean and Scott.

Scott on Phil:
Phil is an excellent personal assistant. She needs no improvement.

Scott on Liz:
Scott would like Liz to take Bean. He doesn't feel he should have to beg.

Ali on Scott:
Irregardless is not a word. Ali would like Scott to find a middle volume between mumbling and yelling in her ear. Ali would like to leave the quilt on the couch because she is going to use it in a few hours anyway. Ali would like Scott to recycle everything because she hearts the earth. Paper towel rolls are recyclable. Ali likes the Scott-brand soft toilet paper and since she uses more of it, she should have the most say. Ali thinks Scott is really cute and probably let's Scott get away with more because of it. It's really hard for her because she has the fury.

Ali on Bean:
Ali thinks there should be a one-flood maximum in the kitchen. Water is for drinking, not for flinging. Ali would also like Bean to collect his thoughts before he speaks. She doesn't think it should take a solid hour to tell her that he's hungry, she knows it and dinner time is at 6:00. Bean's only job is to eat bibbets (insects) and be ever present for petting, it's not a hard job so Bean should aim high.

Ali on Liz:
If Ali is Liz's personal chef, Liz should put orders in for pie and other delicious things instead of complaining about how she doesn't have pie when Ali can't do anything about her lack of pie.

Ali on Phil:
Ali is morally against Phil's cake choice. Ali has many cake skills and is appalled at making a boxed yellow cake with canned chocolate frosting. That is not a cake, it is a Little Debbie snack.

Bean on Scott:
Bean wants to be let outside more and change his breakfast time to 5:00AM. Bean would prefer it if Scott did not start a rumble and then get mad when Bean wins. Bean appreciates Scott's solidarity in their shared hate of Prince. Boy he really hates that cat.

Bean on Ali:
Bean resents all the petting, getting picked up, and loud kissy noises in his ear. He is a cat, not a squeaky toy. Bean appreciates all the sleeping that goes on in the late mornings. Bean would like a steady supply of toy mice.

Bean on Liz:
Bean loves Liz and there's no two ways about it.

Bean on Phil:
Bean does not appreciate the red scarf and the doorbell ringing.