Barney Fife and Grape Nehi

Photo: Ali with Mayberry PD Car
Where: Mount Airy A.K.A Mayberry, NC

What the tour guide and signs said was true, you don't know you are in Mayberry until you have your picture taken with the Ford Galaxie driven in the show. We ventured to the Mayberry Festival in celebration of Phil's 28th birthday. She gets all the fun birthdays. The zoo, theme parks, and the Mayberry Festival. It's so not fair!

Photo: The Yellow Hat Society
Where: JR's Discount Store Interstate 40, NC

Yes, we are the Yellow Hat Society now. Surely you've heard of the Redhat Society. Ladies over 60 doing this and that with their red hats. Well, we represent the under 60 crowd who feel shunned by our grannies and aunties.

Photo: JR's
Where: Interstate 40 West, NC

Every single time any of us have driven I-40 West through North Carolina, we pass many, many, many billboards advertising JR's discount store. It finally seduced us with its promise of discount perfumes, cigars, and other fine goods. And of course, crazy Walter's promise of $17 dollar TVs. He swears! JR, he tried to warn us that we wouldn't find a better deal anywhere. We finally listened and boy did he deliver.

Photo: Phil and Puppet in Hysteria
Where: JR's

The creepy doll section was far beyond our expectations. It put JR's cigarette wall to shame. Dolls, puppets, danty tea sets. 12-foot high ceilings of dolls, dolls, and more dolls. Not Dockside Dolls either. Real dolls that stare at you like Chucky. Phil and this puppet were have a truly good laugh at mine and Liz's expense.

Photo: Liz and Rabbi and/or Jesus
Where: JR's

Liz of course found the rabbi or Jesus puppet (we couldn't tell which), and called Phil and the laughing puppet to repentence. It didn't work. Phil's a heathen.

Photo: Ali and Sporty Spice
Where: JR's

The sporty puppet was disgusted with the whole affair and took the opportunity to pop me in the nose.

Photo: Mr. and Mrs. Picklefritz
Where: Mayberry, NC

First stop in Mayberry was to the pickle toss, where the Picklefritz's took the opportunity to lecture all the little picklers on the dangers of binging on vinegar. No one likes their pickle too sour . "You're only hurting yourself", they said. The Picklefritz's are wise pickles!

Photo: Ali with Andy and Opie
Where: Mayberry, NC

I needed to hang with Andy and Opie because I wanted to visit 1960. Life in Nick-at-Night is so much more fun than Pleasantville led us to believe.

Photo: Creepy Andy and Opie
Where: Mayberry, NC

Okay, so this was a little creepy, but it was the only creepy thing we really encountered all day. Although, we did discover that this event mostly drew the over 70 crowd. We seemed like speed-demons on the sidewalks compared to them. Across the street from here was Opie's candy store, Floyd's Barber Shop, and Snappy's Lunch. We loaded up on retro candy. I don't care what my mom said, candy cigarettes were never about the fake-smoking, it was always the delicious sugar. I'm eating one right now and I don't want to smoke! See mom, you were wrong.

Photo: Barney Fife's Sidecar
Where: Mayberry, NC

I just thought it was cool. I wish I could ride in one. We saw the people who owned ride away when we were walking back to our car.

Photo: Ali and Barney Fife at Barney's Cafe
Where: Mayberry, NC

Yes, Barney and me, we go way back. We ate at his cafe today. Dave and I had Barney burgers, and Phil and Liz wimped out with plane tuna sandwiches. We really wanted to see Barney in person, but he was out with Thelma Lou.

Photo: Ali, Liz, and Phil with Grape and Orange Nehi
Where: Mayberry, NC

We finally got to taste Grape and Orange Nehi. It was delicious! Surely, no adventure into TV Land would be complete without washing down our candy and burgers with Grape and Orange Nehi. I think it was the law in 1960.

Photo: Moonpies
Where: Mayberry, NC

No trip to 1960 would be complete without Moonpies. I really wanted to eat one, but alas, food allergy. Did they have those in 1960?

Photo: Aunt Bea, Andy, and the gang
Where: Mayberry, NC

Aunt Bea and Andy did say hello to us, but it was not Aunt Bea who made the apple pie that Liz ate. She said it was good anyway, even if it wasn't made with love from Aunt Bea.

Photo: Walley's Service Station
Where: Mayberry, NC

We had to stop over at Walley's Service station to fill up and hitch a ride with the Mayberry PD. It was wicked fun.

Photo: Goober's truck
Where: Mayberry, NC

I know this is Goober's truck, but it looks just like Mater from Cars.

Photo: Jailbird Ali
Where: Mayberry, NC

I was busted for unruly conduct, but Dave busted me out. There was a rocking chair, nightstand, and bed in the jail cell. It's like the Holiday Inn.

Photo: Mayberry PD Car
Where: Mayberry, NC

Photo: Sheriff Dave
Where: Mayberry Police Department, NC

Dave was filling in for Sheriff Taylor while he was out taking care of a problem with Ernest T. That's sort of how he busted me out. We left town before Andy got back.

Photo: Deputy Bell
Where: Mayberry Police Department, NC

Deputy Bell filled in for Barney while he was off with Thelma Lou, and also helped to bust me out. It was a good day. We sugared up, drove home, ate Chipoltle, and finished the night off with a little Goodberries and Johnny Lingo. Whew!