Not everything about being a Yeagley spawn is as glamorous as you might have thought. From my mother, I have inherited insomnia. Genetics can be cruel. When I was a baby, I was just labeled a night owl. My new young parents threw their hands up, tossed toys in my crib, left the light on, and went to bed to catch up on their own zzzzz's.These days you can find my mother upside down watching CNN at 3AM like a bat on her couch. Alternately, you can find me watching HGTV while searching youtube.com for that one Gilda Radner sketch on the Muppet Show singing the Modern Major General song from Pirates of Penzance with a seven foot carrot in a tuxedo. If I'm not doing that, you can bet I'll be in my bed tossing and turning like Doritos and grape soda on Phil's 7th grade whale watch until 3 or 4 in the morning.
It's not that I'm not tired. My eyes feel like they have SOS pads behind the lids and my body wants to shut down. But there I am, eyes wide open, wondering what parts of Murphy are chow and which are golden retriever. Well, when you can't sleep you web crawl all sorts of answers to the most inane questions. If you've ever wondered why I am a fountain of useless information, wonder no more. Insomnia.
Insomnia is for sucks!
9 comments:
A brief dissection of Murphy P. Bell Esquire...
(She is an accopmlished lawyer in case anyone was wondering. She helped Casey get his green card)
Parts Chow (100 per 1 parts Golden Retreiver)
-Tongue Spot
-Obnoxious never ending thick neck fur
-Bad attitude
Parts Golden Retreiver (1 part per 100 parts Chow)
-Ability to show loyalty to the next person to walk into the room even though she pledged her undying devotion to the last person she saw with food(JUDAS!!!)
-Boundless energy used to chase bounding bunnies
Parts unspecified hound (2 parts per all parts Chow and Golden Retriever)
-Shape of ears
-Keen hunting and marking ability
Thanks for the explanation Phil, but now what am I going to think about from 1:30-2:30AM? I need a new topic.
You can think of ways to help me get the Modern Major General song out of my head now that you have firmly implanted it there.
No can do. I like it in my own head. I've been listening to it over and over again on purpose.
I cannot relate at all. I can fall asleep whenever I choose these days (not in an AJ kind of way) I'm sorry you can't sleep. I can only imagine how frustrating that is. What about all those sleep-med commercials that are on late night TV? One of those might work...
I can understand completely. I find myself online at weird hours of the night/morning. I ocassionally take over the counter sleep aids if it is really bad. What is worse is when I have a bad time getting to sleep and then a sweet little boy wakes me up and I do it all over again. I feel ya but I do enjoy the info from your insomnia.
I am afraid to take the prescription stuff from TV because there have been reports that show really bad side effects. I do however take Tylenol PM from time to time when I am desperate. I am thinking of switching just to Benedryl like Emily.
I would like you to have this stuck in your head as punishment for what has been going on inside my head for 2 days.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFMKQx_PDBM
It's not a punishment at all! There was a boy in my African Women class last spring who had Sanford and Son as his ring tone. I loved it then and I love it now!
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