Photo: Jakey with a MulletI fully admit that I lifted these pictures off my little brother's various websites to show my readers the level of creepy he's trying to achieve. Surely the staff at Starbucks (the headquarters, not one of the 9 billion servers on every corner of the world) can find better ways to entertain themselves than turning my little brother into a would-be serial killer/child molester/truck stop enthusiast. You'd never know from looking at these train wrecks that Jakey used to be such a cute little boy who could run fast and jump high, as well as hit wiffle balls over a 1960's ranch. Stop the madness!! Oh Jakey, what has become of you?
Dear readers, what are your thoughts? What does creepy Jake personify for you? Hide your children, your valuables, your elderly, and your pets. Jakey, I implore you to get that thing off your face and remove that party in the back! Ick...
Dear readers, what are your thoughts? What does creepy Jake personify for you? Hide your children, your valuables, your elderly, and your pets. Jakey, I implore you to get that thing off your face and remove that party in the back! Ick...
Photo: Jakey Possessed
Photo: Jakey Gone Fishin'
4 comments:
I'm laughing, but I'm almost crying. Jake is scary funny. I won't ask him to babysit. I won't tell him where the spare key is hidden. If we're walking down the same street in opposite directions, I hope to have the strength to stay on this side and to acknowlege him with a little head bob, but no guarantees.
Don't you play like you don't love the mullet. Look how happy I am!
There will be all new hair by Monday and the 'stache will be gone within a week. Meanwhile, enjoy!
If I saw Jake walking down the sidewalk toward me, I would remind myself not to look fearful. Confident people are less likely to be victims.
If I didn't know he was actually a big joker, that is.
OK, crybabies, the 'stache and mullet are gone. Now I can continue being creepy by way of actions, not just looks.
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