Babies in a Bag

We're in the final stretch of waiting for the big orange baby to get out of that dark, wet space in my sister's belly that she calls home. I need to pack my bag for the hospital so that I can keep the Big Orange happy-ish while she's trying to squeeze the Big Orange Baby out of her business section. Most of what's going in my bag is not on the recommended list, but here's what is going in:

• Two sets of PJs to stay comfy while the Big Orange is anything but comfy
• At least two days worth of my 8,000 medications which seem to be changing every other day
• A large medical alert sheet to be pinned on my shirt like a kindegartner, with every piece of information there is to know about my medical history, just in case I have to step into the hall to have a medical emergency of my own whilst my medical advocate is trying to squeeze the Big Orange Baby out of her business section
• A couple of Muppet's DVDs for the Big Orange Baby's dad during the slow parts of labor, and some other DVD just in case the Big Orange wants to hurl Kermit and Piggy through a window during the slow parts of labor
• A big orange airplane pillow for me to sleep during the slow parts of labor (I really do have one)
  
• Two days of non-perishable Ali-friendly snacks since I can't eat anything in the hospital cafeteria
• At least $40 in ones for vending machines, parking, and the celebratory Chipotle run after the big show is over
• A phone charger so that I can make all the B-list phone calls after the Big Orange Baby makes her appearance (just so you know, anyone who isn't the Big Orange Baby's grandparents is probably on the B-list)
• A camera for pictures of the Big Orange Baby and her Big Orange BBQ dad, since the Big Orange doesn't want any photos documenting her reproductive process since she opposes all parts of it
  

Wish me luck in my packing endeavor and creating my gargantuan health record.