Fake, Fake, Fake

Photo: Fake-Thanksgiving Grown-up Table
Location: Phil's House (October 14, 2006)

The fake-Thanksgiving tradition was started last veteran's day with Dave's mom, Nancy, and our two British friends, Sarah and Kayleigh (although Phil and I have participated in fake-Thanksgivings in years past). This year's festivities not only included a grand meal, but fake-graduation ceremonies for the 2006 graduates who were not able to participate in a school sponsored ceremony for one reason or another. For other accounts of the day's festivities, click on Scott or Emily.

Photo: Paw Turkeys

Liz was the decorating committee. She very creatively decided to make name cards that were a variation of the traditional hand turkeys, done by hundreds of thousands of American elementary school children. She instead traced the paws of her dog, Sophie, and Phil and Dave's cat, Paul, and dog, Murphy. She turned their paws into turkeys instead. Bravo Liz! Bravo!

Photo: Pepper Canapes

I got ambitious and decided to make an appetizer fit for an Emily Gilmore party. These are pepper canapes made with tiny sweet peppers, cream cheese, fried plantain chips, jalapeno stuffed olives, fresh mango and lime zest, and chives. It was a very time consuming project, but worth the effort. They were a smashing success that Joseph would be proud of. Liz and I had a surprisingly great time frying the plantains. They slid in the pan like tiny snow sleds and bubbled up very quickly. It made my house smell like a Mexican restaurant for a couple of days, but it was so fun. I must confess, I did get the recipe from the Food Network.

Photo: Cookie Tree

Every time I look at this picture it makes me think of Cookie Monster singing his 'C' is for Cookie song and playing Alistair Cookie on Monster-piece Theatre. These pumpkin spice chocolate chip cookies are really addicting. Several people were very distressed when the cookies accidentally went home with me at the end of the night. I can post the recipe if people want it. It is my mother's and her old co-workers salivated in wait for these cookies every fall, much the same way we all do for Girl Scout cookies.

Photo: Liz, Marya, Emily, AJ, Helen, and Phil

Here is the back of the line for the fake-Thanksgiving buffet, which consisted of a twenty pound turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potato wedges, stuffing, rolls, cornbread, green beans, corn, peas, cranberry sauce, gravy, chocolate trifle, apple dumplings, and of course... pumpkin pie. We had candied apples, cookies, mulled apple cider, and the pepper canapes as well. We were well fed!

For an early Christmas present, Dave and Phil gave each other a turkey roaster. They are great! I highly recommend you get one if you need to free your oven of the bird and save a little cash in electricity bills. The turkey was perfect! Although, Dave and his magic brine make our roast beasts divine every real and fake holiday.

Photo: Mary, Nancy, Scott, Bill, Helen, and Phil

Finally! Some food. Mary clearly couldn't wait.

Photo: Matt

Yes, we count on Matt and his belly of love to make a dent in our food at all our gatherings. He has been working on this for us for some time.

Photo: Matt

See, here he is planning his next course. Kidding of course, he's actually very athletic.

Photo: Scott

Scott is posing in his post-turkey relaxation lean while he waits for fake-Graduation to start.

Photo: Helen and Bill

I don't have any idea what is so funny, but it must have been good.

Photo: Nancy, Mary, Aaron, and Phil

While we graduates were in the back getting our gowns and caps on, Phil got her speech in order while the band (Mary and Nancy affectionately referred to as the Golden Girls) practice the graduation march on their kazoos.

Photo: Phil, Emily, Liz, AJ, Helen, and Bill

I'm in there too, but I'm hidden by Emily's tallness. We marched in wearing old high school and college robes and caps. Murphy was Dean of Students, Dave was the Chancellor. Our dean attended part of the ceremony, but got a little freaked out when she was given applause.

Photo: Ali, Liz, and AJ

We did that silly march like a wedding where you step, stop, step, stop...

Photo: Keynote Speaker, Phil

Phil was the keynote speaker. Her topic was celebrity graduation speeches and what we learn from them. She ended with a youtube performance of Jodi Foster quoting Eminem's 8 Mile song. Liz, Emily, and I also gave speeches as valedictorians of our classes. I was ultimate and Emily was penultimate speaker. AJ chose not to speak because he thought he was too cool for school.

Photo: Emily, Dave, Nancy, and Mary

The Golden Girls were unable to contain themselves during the speeches, but they managed to get it together before they played us out on kazoos. Emily will be posting the distribution of Diplomas as soon as she has internet at her apartment. My degree was Bachelor of the Head Shrinking and Mental Bossiness. Liz received a Master of Zookeeping and Homework Giving, Emily received a Master of Pretend Math and Excessive Trivial Pursuit Knowledge, and AJ received a Bachelor of Head Shrinking that is in No Way related to Electricianing.

Photo: AJ, Liz, Ali, and Emily

The graduates sitting attentively and posthumously.

Photo: Liz and Sophie

No graduation can occur without at least one streaker. Sophie was ours, although she was wearing a Halloween collar and she was detained by one of the graduates.

Photo: Liz and Ali

We are wearing our rose colored glasses given to us by the Golden Girls so that we can further avoid the real world. Also, we received some charming Mardi Gras beads, although we did not have to earn them the traditional way thank goodness.

Photo: Emily, Phil, Ali, Scott, Helen, and Bill

The graduates scurried to find their family and friends after the ceremony was over. It is always so crowded, but we found each other.

Photo: Ali and Scott

Ah, behold the glowing spouse who deeply wishes I were making money instead of going to school again. What a good sport. My rose colored glasses will come in handy for graduate school.

Photo: Cardboardy Doppelganger Jakey and Ali

Since real-Jake ditched us in favor of New Hampshireites, we had to substitute with fake-Jake. Obviously he had no say in how we dressed him. I like his spangly necklace and earrings.

Photo: Marya and Matt

Marya looked fab as always, despite the fact that she got up at 6AM to proctor the SATs. She is currently working as a zookeeping homework giver.

Photo: Ali

After the fake-Graduation ceremony and an enjoyable game of Catch Phrase, I settled in with mulled apple cider to watch the fake-Christmas events unfold. Muppets Christmas Carol played in the background while Phil, Mary, and Liz put up the Christmas tree. The big dogs and Jack Jack were still locked out on the porch, so Murphy was super mad by then.

Photo: Body Part Wreath

Liz and Phil put all the sticky body parts on the wreath. You can easily make out the nose, but not much else. It's better in real life.

Photo: Phil and the Tree

We did have a roaring fire for the most of the day, so we were pretty cozy. Fortunately it cooled off enough to allow us some ambiance for our fake-festivities.

Photo: Tree

Halleuiah! Halleuiah! The tree is done. Phew! I'm tired. It is glowing and beautiful, and so far no dogs have eaten any ornaments.

Stay tuned for next year's fake-Thanksgiving!