Answering All Your Burning Questions

I never intended to be so mysterious, but sometimes I have really good reasons for leaving out some of the details of my life. Mainly because people who read this blog will find out surprises and stuff before I want them to know.

A few weeks ago, I posted some beauteous photographs I shot of both my old 35mm SLR camera equipment, and of my dad's vintage 35mm SLR camera and wouldn't say why. Well two reasons, the first of which was that I have been planning for months (and I do mean many months) to surprise hubby for our ninth anniversary, which is today by the way, with a new Nikon d40 digital SLR with 18mm-55mm wide angle lens and 55mm-200mm zoom lens, fancy camera bag, and accessories. And since he pulled out all the romantic stops last year when all I got him was a tiny, slightly annoying, digital alarm clock that shares the name of his father, I had to make up for it big time this year.

This baby is at the bottom of Nikon's high-end digital SLR cameras (which is what we could afford), but it will still give us far superior images compared with all point-and-shoots and most digital SLRs -- I know there are people out there who are passionate about their Canons, but my feeling is Canon will never be Nikon, and besides I recently discovered that Canon really hoses their customers on their best selling digital SLR because they require an over sized-lens, which can only be purchased through Canon, and I find that really slimy).

Well, in order to finance such a fancy camera on our tight budget, I decided to sell my old gear to help pay for it. I am just not using it anymore. 35mm is becoming obsolete and is just not practical or cost effective these days. Therefore, I shot the camera photographs to post on Craig's list, but soon discovered that people either wanted to buy just the lenses to put their fancy Canon d-SLRs and mine wouldn't fit, or scammers trying to get me to send the equipment over seas and they would pay me double by wiring me the money (as if I am that dumb). So I will be trying to sell it all on eBay next. Just so we're clear, I will never get rid of my really fancy flash, tripod, or medium format film camera.

Reason #2 for those photographs was that my dad's old camera has a lot of sentimental value, and so I printed and framed an 8x10 for him in color and B&W for Father's Day. My mother said he loved it and that it went in their office above the filing cabinet, so I guess Dad is still a softy.

As for the rest of our anniversary, we got all dressed up and went to this amazing Italian place that has a three-page gluten-free menu. We also got a really fancy dessert, which was a selection of Tahitian vanilla, raspberry, and chocolate creme broulee. After dinner we went home and watched the DVD for our new Nikon. Hubby says the host of the DVD is soothing, so I expect to come home one day to find him glued to that guy on his more stressful days. Overall I would say this year's anniversary was not too bad compared that silly Bob-clock from last year.

On to mystery post number two, my life's new plan. I only didn't say what the plan was because I hadn't had the chance to tell hubby what it was first, not because it actually is some big mystery. As my regular readers now know, I got hit with some major health issues about a year ago, of which I am still not fully recovered. This threw a major crack in my well-laid plans. I tried to take the illness in stride and push through to stick to my goals, but it all blew up in my face and I got a lot sicker. I had to give up graduate school part way through the semester, and leave a job I dearly loved. It was devastating.

The worst of things hit in fall and winter, and since then I have worked really hard to get healthy. I went from horrible, to bad, to less bad, which is where I've been circling for the last three months. I had to re-think everything, and I do mean everything. After a lot of careful thought and consideration (and yes prayers too), I finally arrived at a decision about what to do over the weekend, and the rest kind of fell into place during my insomniatic state. So here's the plan:

• Put graduate school on hold indefinitely (with the option to return if it ever seems plausible). I am still very passionate about psychology, especially where diagnostics, treatment plans, and the success of clients who've completed therapy are concerned. I can't, however, abandon them halfway through a session, halfway through the therapy process, nor can I risk going unconscious when someone is experiencing any kind of psychosis, which could potentially be very dangerous to them and me. I also don't love doing research. I love what other researchers find out for me, but I do not have a research design mind.
• Look for part-time work that makes me happy. I need to start off slow so I don't make myself sicker, and I need to find something that will be fulfilling. I think something in non-profit or possible graphic design. I need to see what's out there and find a job that works for me, but that doesn't exceed 30 hours.
• Pursue a freelance career. I have learned through the thick of all this illness that the way I keep my sanity is by returning to my roots and being creative. I want to finally make this blog profitable once and for all. I want to start taking my photography more seriously again, but on my own terms (no weddings, probably no portraits or events). I do want to take product shots, stock photos, scenics, food, and possibly interiors (houses and buildings). Joseph the food scientist and I have talked about doing a cookbook together, and I hope to get that underway in the next year or so. Going freelance will allow me to control how much work I do without putting anyone at risk. This is optimal with my illnesses. I hope to be profitable enough to drop the part-time work within a year or two.
• Maybe, just maybe have a baby. I think I am finally healthy enough to do it. But, I have to qualify this last statement by saying that I have been really satisfied being an auntie to my nieces and nephews. I love them to death, and I also love to send them home because they are smelly, loud, gross, and tiring. I still love them, and I also love them to go home. I was really anxious about having a family all the way up until I got so sick, then I was petrified of the idea for fear of being in horrible pain, and spending the entire pregnancy on bed rest hooked up to an IV in a hospital. It may sound like I was being all dramatic and stuff, but I really was that sick. Now I am less sick, and pregnancy is hard enough when you're healthy.
  

So that's it. That's the plan. Can't you now see why I needed to discuss it first with hubby before my readers? I don't know how it will go, but I have high hopes. So keep your fingers crossed for me.

And so it goes, these are the days of Ali-kat's life. My mother is in town playing with my niece, and we are heading to my cousin's wedding on Saturday. Lots of my favorite relatives are coming into town for the wedding, and I think it will be a nice time. Maybe we'll take some pics at the cookout with our new camera tomorrow. Happy freedom day everyone!

Cheers!!